13

our little baby girl is now 13 and as big as me. her spirit shines bright. she is gentle and strong and making her way into the world. bit by bit. she makes me laugh and cry. i probably do the same to her. i couldnt love her more. but somehow each day i do.

t e n.

today our middle loveheart Sindri is TEN! unfortunately he's still sick...or sick again... and is in bed building lego. i wish i could make him well again. i wish he didnt get sick on his birthdays...often. we are saving the birthday celebrating for another day. his skate ramp, a big fire, yummy food, his best friend, and everyone who loves him will all wait until he's better again.

when he spoke on the phone to his pa today, he told him he got star wars lego and mini skateboards and his happy family for his birthday. gosh i couldnt love him more.

here's Rosie

newest member of the family, Rosie. complete cuteness. and rascal-ness. her favourite past time. chewing. everything. shes so very soft and so very sweet. oh look at that face!

happy spring

well lets just pretend it looks and feels like spring outside. the birds are definitely chirping their heads off-not that i would call a crow a bird. each morning when the crows are squaking and banging on my windows at 6am i tell myself if i had a gun i would shoot them . of course i couldnt. but seriously....do they have to?



the other day i borrowed a trailer to go pick up a couch for my room. when it was time to drop the trailer off it was pouring rain, my mum was inside sick, and it was almost pick up kids time. so in a crazy im a superwoman moment i tried with all of my might to lift the trailer up off the tow ball and something went keeek in my lower back. oh no. ive done my back. we then got a wheel thing and sensibly got wet in the rain and wound the trailer up off my car. and then off i went with my broken back. silly me.



a week or so later and i think its getting better and im half getting used to moving in the right way so i dont hurt. my lesson this week is im not superwoman. and i need to look after myself. i think it was just yesterday i said i felt like i was 50 and farmer boy said oh well theres not much difference between 40 and 50. and then i howled im not even 40 yet! im still in my 30s (just) !

he was annoying me. so off i went to my sewing room.



and i should have know better than to go and sew after not sewing for a long time, in a grumpy mood. i got fabric jammed in my overlocker while trying to make Amelie a dress. i then pulled some of it apart and cant fit it back together. and i think i bent something. i have to laugh.

i almost finished the dress which possible looks like an adult dress? maybe not with some polka dot additions to the outfit :-)



meanwhile Veda has been rehearsing for what seems like forever for the school production of Alice in Wonderland. its on this thursday and friday night. i cant wait to see it. i could watch Veda sing and dance forever .



and finally my sister Melinda and her sweetness Hana are coming this weekend from Japan. for a month. happy happy us. im hoping spring will give us some sunny days together.



now off i go to drink some coffee and hem Ammies dress and ignore some mess. hope you are having a happy day.

X manda

tuesday

our beautiful boy Spotty rests peacefully under the gingko tree. it was a horribly sad thing to have to say goodbye to him. we took a few sunny beautiful days with him. that was lucky. many cats just go away to die alone.

and ever since, it has been grey and cold and rainy. the farm is loving the rain. im not enjoying it as much as i usually would. i think i need some sunshine right now. that or a really good sleep.

i got the best mail the other day. the box of lost easter eggs that i sent to my sister in tokyo. 2 months later they were returned to me..how very cool. tomorrow i will send them again...this time with her whole address written on the box ;-)

im waiting for a fabric parcel to arrive so i can make myself a new dress. and i also bought myself a crochet hook. i am determined to learn. this year! hopefully sooner than by the end of this year!

in the meantime, slowly and holding my loved ones close. x

oh..and p.s we have wrens nesting in our garden. i distract myself, spying on magical little wrens.

six

the birthday girl had a wonderfully happy birthday. we wagged school, because we could and because everyone should have a holiday on their birthday! it was a perfect day.

we are all now a little exhausted. we need to re-energise for the party on the weekend. birthdays usually last a week in our house :) i cant actually believe we've only been back at school for three days. it feels like three weeks which isn't a good sign!

i've sent more easter eggs to my sis in japan because the first lot are most definitely lost.....and testing fate, i didn't pay an extra five dollars to insure or track the parcel. surely it can't happen twice. and i refuse to insure easter eggs.

tomorrow i will send my pincushion off.....its not officially late but jeepers....i hope my swap-ee gets it in time.

tonight the papier mache pinata is drying in front of the wood heater. yep we have fire warmth in the house. i love it. i dont love the kids begging for cooked on the fire marshmallows every night though ;-) the pinata was going to be a pink flower....but now im getting carried away with the idea and thinking about making it look like an echinacea flower. the balloon is the perfect shape for it. i love pinatas. i love papier mache too. amelie the parisian princess would not help me make it, even though she wanted to..because she didnt want to get her fingers sloppy messy sticky. she has always been this way. so funny, my sweet six year old.

off to do some party making ...goodnight :)

lolly family

spring holidays :: wednesday

there seems to be only two positions on their dials. so very happy playing together. or ready to eat each other like wild lion cubs. im slightly exhausted and needing to drink a glass of red wine at 5pm ;-)
tomorrow we m u s t leave the house/farm.
(hopefully i will sneak in some fabric shopping)
because a girl can never have enough.
i want plain colours + plain linen = happy me
im going to the daylesford makers market. jeepers. that gives me how many days to get my shit together? 67? i love it.

spring holidays :: monday

no title

printing christmas prints

eating chocolate and oranges and green curry and strawberries. not all at once

trying to catch up on some sleep

loving my garden

making a new vegie garden

drawing with henna on hands and toes

talking about trees with the kids

listening to the kids talk. argue. laugh. sing

listening to veda compose songs on the piano. so beautiful.

swearing at mother nature when she spits just a few drops of rain on us.

but also understanding why she would do that.

trying to move some stuff out of this house. right now its the only way its going to get any bigger

need to try harder on that one

tomorrow is my mums birthday

tonight i spoke to melinda and hana on skype

i hate skype.

i love the honesty of children.

and i think i may belong somewhere other than earth. maybe im missing my former mermaid life.

and in the mean time. surely obama is going to win the election. and hopefully he will do the right thing once he has.

Sindri

remember this drawing Sindri did a while ago... well have a look over HERE

how beautiful and free is kids art...

Sindri draws constantly. . and when he does its like it comes from another place....

He definitely has a mind out of this world, full of explosions and creatures that transform and there is usually some mathematical or scientific reasoning to go with them. He's so cool our little Sindri.

today

f

kids did stay home from school

i lit five fires on the farm

ive definitely burnt and smoked a clearing, a space for new energy

i must thank my elder sister for her wisdom

we found out that our neighbour is a horse lover and is willing to help us find the right horse for our little horse loving girl...right next door...well thats down the road a bit.

veda found an old horse shoe earlier today. declaring she was now the luckiest girl in the world

i came home to find a bouquet of red gum flowers in the front wire door

it was a perfect day

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a week later

so much life happens in a week.

im here on my new computer. its empty. my old one is so full. i like the emptyness. and its pink.

but it has no mouse. which is strange for my fingers.

in the middle of the week our super boy Sindri had his 7th birthday.

a magical day it was. a magical boy he is.

now its friday night ..or saturday early morning.

the moon was full on his birthday.

we ate marshmallows cooked in our wood heater

we want to go see angus and julia stone playing in melbourne in june. we really like them. i doubt that we will be bothered though.

veda lost two teeth in the last two days. the tooth fairy will get a surprise tonight. two teeth to carry back to her fairy castle.

veda reads books faster than anybody i know.

i cant keep up with her.

amelie patted a pony walking down the street today with its owner. just going for a leisurely walk down the street.

the autumn weather is sunny and cold. frosty and foggy. and a little muddy.

while i was away in melbourne on the weekend the cows got into my garden and made a big mess of it.

why do they do that? im sure its telling me something im just not sure what. (apart from confirming the way i feel about them)

i have made nothing. apart from rum balls and birthday cake. i guess that is a big something. birthday cake is big.

i think about making skirts and i brought some stuffing to stuff some toys with. what those toys will look like i have no idea. amelie suggested i make a sun. i like that idea. they will be for mirabel if i get myself moving a little faster.

my favourite day is monday. amelie and i get to be in her kinder. we always leave energised. i didnt go to kindergarten when i was little..maybe this is my chance to do it with ammie. way more fun. apart from mondays i then look forward to fridays so it can then be saturdays and we can all live at our own pace.

hmm.. want me to keep babbling.

ok. k ..

im looking for somewhere for us to go for a holiday. overseas.

i feel a bit nervous about taking the kids into the bigger world. we live in a cocoon in many ways.

but how exciting it would/will be.

family. oh goodness. what a complicated thing family is.

it doesnt have to be does it.

should we or shouldnt we make our house bigger?

somehow i love the kids more and more, deeper and brighter every day. im so lucky.

ive been reading some nice books with amelie and it makes me want to write and illustrate a book. again. i wish i could make my mind up and just do something.

i like going to the coffee shop with amelie. we have a nice time hanging out together.

sindri likes reading books called captain underpants. of all things! i thought about making him a doll to put his underpants on. hes a superhero, captain underpants. taps into his boyish humour. which there is definitely such a thing.

rage is playing music on tv. i havent watched rage for years. memories........

and what else.

tomorrow theres a clearance sale on. i would like to go..but i am really running out of room for more stuff. really. although i always have room for old fabric and lace and trims, buttons, books,.....

the chances of me getting the kids out of the house on a saturday morning are not good. understandably.

so anyway. off to bed i should go. its nice to be back talking to myself. and to you if you are out there somewhere reading .

goodnight.

just what i needed

my boy surprised me today with these, gently presented to me from behind his back. . .just when i was considering fleeing to nigeria. he pulls out something that couldnt be sweeter. (i wouldnt really flee to nigeria. ) ( india maybe!! ) he picked them from one of our paddocks and brought them home for me. a bunch of fairy wishes he said.

a flickering butterfly

i have new drawers that weigh more than a freight train. but are so very beautiful. they, and my other new furniture gifts to me from me, and from my boy, will live in my studio. i think maybe thats what i need to focus on. getting our house made bigger. the builders are all on holidays im assuming....and its a bit tricky.... only because its been so hot around here and i just want to go float in some salty water in the ocean at fremantle. weve delayed our holidays because it just didnt seem to be coming together,,... im so bad at planning holidays (or anything) i wish my boy would do it. but he wont. probably because he finds it hard to move being the rock that he is (metapyhsically speaking, or something like that).
anyway... the beach.

maybe we could go to fremantle once all the school hoilday people go home? perth is so far though....it has always been the problem with perth..even when we lived there. its a big shame,....because its a beautiful place. a clean warm beach is all i need.

i went and brought more new fabric yesterday. i cant help it. i really want to be sewing myself some new beautiful fine clothes. the kids brought themselves little purse making kits with money that uncle anthony and aunty anne gave them. so cute. and excellent because we got to use our new unused glue gun. see- i did need one. veda shared my joy about having a glue gun. thats my girl.

this is my new chair my boy gave me for christmas. now that i think of it, its funny. because im always so flippy floaty...ready to run off into the neverland at any minute, no wonder he gave me a chair. sit down! or maybe he finally understands my tiredness. here honey ..sit down..relax. im awful. .. . .... i think he really just wanted to buy me a nice chair in excitement about me having my own new space to create in.

so its the 4th of january already. my heart is skipping little beats every now and then in a little panic that the days are flying past me faster than i like. that im not living in sync with time. i cant keep up with it. why do i care anyway. the kids are just happy that it is a new day to play in. on. around. amelie just told me shes tired..at 7.45 am. im thinking she should start eating more food. she's turning fussier god help me.

ok...time for a coffee i feel.
kids are awake on the couch in the kitchen, coco kitten is running around the house psycho because thats what she does.
friday. hmmmmmm i wonder what this friday holds for me and us?
i wish for new clothes today.

ONE

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fuzzy sunday

veda love
hana-pie

i could have easily spent the day on the couch soaking up the warmth of our wood heater, dreaming and snoozing. i didnt though. instead we went out and ate delicious pasta and pizza for lunch and then went ten pin bowling. i like sundays alot. a funky market filled with old treasures and nice handmade and grown things and i would have been in heaven.

and then the afternoon was a bit like.... are we really moving? really?

and then tonight i got a call from my adorable aunty anne. it was a surprise. a nice surprise. i wish i could have given her a big hug down the phone line..or invited her over for a coffee. :-(

she reminded me about being sure about the place we are going to move to. its something i worry about, but then i think we will know when we find it. im not moving until i know its right. can you remind me of that? ive waited long enough to be moving to a place where we both want to be.

i know i said to my sister no more gocco-ing because seriously...it could take me 6 months to pack up this place. but i have a drawing on the table calling me to print it. its midnight. dont be silly manda...go to bed.

i didnt go to bed. you want to know what i did? i got caught up looking through my photos on the computer and after seeing my sweet hana-pie i then went to the cupboard and brought back to the computer with me a block of caramello chocolate. comfort eating . yes. did it comfort me about the fact that they are in japan and i am here? no. did it taste nice? um. yep.