the morning after

after 11 hours sleep!!! i don't feel as bright as i hoped i would ..hopefully that will come with the day.

i promise myself to take it easier today. i have a school play to go to...that will be fun...and some birthday shopping for someone with a very big heart.

swirling

i ordered some photos over the internet the other day from big photo , i'm always slightly anxious that our computer is going to crash never to return and i'm going to lose the 1000's of photos that i have never got around to printing. (curse technology..or silly me who doesn't know how to use it.). so anyway i ordered them and felt a little relief that i had got at least some photos safely off the computer. today i received them. oh my goodness.. beautiful children, beautiful togetherness, i sat in my driveway, amelie asleep in the car with me, and i was overwhelmed . it's not taking much to do that to me these days.
so i'm swirling around in this chaotic but strangely peaceful time. so much is unknown with the farm and our future place of homeliness. i'm meeting my friends down the street and we are talking about the fact that there is starting to be green grass seen growing as we drive past endless dry paddocks. and i'm watching myself talking about green grass and i'm feeling these hard times that i'm standing amongst. i get goosebumps all the time. i don't know why but it's annoying.
so then what do i do? i go and buy some plants from the nursery. i know there is absolutely no logic in it, considering the lack of water, and the fact that the cows will most probably trash my garden tonight, knowing that i have just expended all my energy in it. but i havent learnt my lesson yet. so out i went and planted three wattle trees and three purple salvia bushes. nice :-)
i'm earthed now and feel much better.
amelie and i cooked little cinnamon biscuits cut into bunny shapes with her new bunny cutter. we decorated them and shared them with some friends at school pick up time. :-) more nice.
and then to totally exhaust myself i shovelled loads upon loads of straw/poo mixture from the paddock into the garden. i'm now crossing my fingers that the natives don't mind the bit of poo...because they don't normally.oops.
sometimes i step outside myself and look back at myself and am a little shocked to see who i appear to be on the outside.
hmm. so now i'm off to cook some pesto with my happy basil from my garden. sooo nice. spaghetti pesto yummmmmmmmm the kids won't eat it...if only i could show them what they are missing out on...if only they would get past the colour of the food in front of them (mostly only the little mr.s).,...and why do they have a problem with green in the first place???????>
.......i keep my hopes on one day it will rub off on them. and i won't give up.

feeling friday fruit looped

thai overload

oh how i love love love a hot green chicken curry. i love the surprise of biting a red chilli, the burning sensation...l o v e .

so today i gave my garden some love...watering the daffodil bulbs waiting for them to poke their little heads throught the dark dirt.

mowed the lawn, trying to make the garden look neat...(very funny manda), .. so that we can present this place as somewhere somebody else would want to live. or even better, a place that when a prospective purchaser sees it, they fall in love with the charm and beauty (of the dehydrated land) of the garden and absolutely must buy it.

and i think the relationship between me and this painting is over. these two women spoke words of wisdom to me over many long quiet nights.

fleeting moments of happy

veda and i love fairy wrens..and blue wrens. they are so tiny and bright and quick and cute. we have them in our garden (rarely) , but it is a blessing that they sometimes visit our garden...im sure they could find more attractive ones to hang out in.
oh..and a garden update pftt...as funny as that may be, considering... but i have two sunflowers flowering...baby sized, but so beautiful. growing amongst a nice patch of divine basil.. and two more magnolia flowers are on their way out to see me. so nice.

i lost my "nutty biscuit recipe" from mum. so she wrote it out for me again today. and see where it says 2 tab water...tablespoons.. well the 4 in brackets is how much she usually puts in. one of those recipe secrets...why ours never turn out like hers. she slipped up as she was writing lol...
my threads arrived from india yesterday-complete with a packet of bonus bindis. im going to learn how to embroider with the help of the cool book muzz gave me for my birthday.
this is my favourite wine since christmas. it is de lic ious. and looks very pretty in my pink wine glass.

i also received surprises from japan today. thankyou sis . the sweet potato chips are very strange, and addictive. and hana. o m g., pleeaasse get on a plane soon :-)

time to regenerate.. ie sleep.......i told veda shes not allowed out of bed tomorrow morning...at 10 pm she was still awake. way too late for my little queen. in myer today she tried on a $90 white bridesmaid twirly dress,...and then she begged me to buy it. she tried it on for fun...and a part of me did consider buying it lol...silly i know...but god she has wanted one for so long...and then sindri begged me to buy it for her because he loved her in it...he said he would give me all his money.. and then amelie tried on the same dress in her size. and then sindri and veda went and found sindri some jeans and a black suit jacket in his size. the fun we had. and thankfully we left all the above mentioned clothes in myer..and i am $300 richer than i might have been.

goodnight

mess

so much of it. universe, make that a chef and a cleaning wizz.

so its 1am and i im probably really going to regret this at around 7am....but i love this time i have when the kids are asleep and the house is so quiet. ive made an apron and ive eaten a bag of lolly gobble bliss bombs mmm yummmm and a twirl . so bad i know.

ive watched brothers and sisters...which i am really happy about having a show on tv that i like to watch...because really theres only 24 and playschool. thats it.

ive also sat at this computer looking at nice drawings and strange paintings and reading stories from strangers lives that may or may not be real.

today we had fun at a big playground..it was a perfectly sunny autumn day.

and by the way universe, i need a live-in chef.

saturday night

i sit here, my feet dusty, my legs tired. i took some frustration out on the earth tonight and raked up leaves and twigs and rubbish. its so dusty. i remembered my dad sweeping his thoughts away...just like i was tonight. i felt for the animals. they must be hot and thirsty..waiting for rain. we humans can still go inside and turn on the cooler and get a drink from the tap...water we have paid to be delivered to fill up our rain tank.

its a strange thing to be living in a drought. the extent to which it affects us creeps up on me and surprises me some days.

i was given a voucher for my birthday for a housey type shop...so today i went and bought some beautiful pink wine glasses.. niicccee :-) . i didnt have any of my favourite wine to put in them tonight unfortunately... ( brown brothers moscato yummmm) oh well. i drank a beer instead lol..

the kids are nintendo ds crazy again. their addiction had worn off after the christmas bliss of having their own nintendos.... and now that i have one.... it has become exciting again. this morning i had some fun mario kart racing with both veda and sindri together. . in bed... as soon as i could focus my eyes after waking up!

i had both a flat mobile phone and flat car battery today. it doesnt surprise me. my own battery is flat too.

i should have put the jumper leads on my ears for a few seconds......

i should go to sleep hey...

and the giraffe...how beautiful is she? i saw her ( im guessing shes a her) at the melbourne zoo last year.

35

Happy Birthday to me :-)

yep 35. jeepers...what a strange thing that is. i could swear thats a mistake in calculations and im really 25.

anyway...its quite irrelevant. ..or thats how i console myself...

i had a really great day today. the kids were more excited than i could believe..about MY birthday. not their OWN. i could write for an hour about all the wonderful surprises and sweetnesses that filled my heart today.. but i will just say that im so grateful for the beautiful kids i have with me every day loving me so unconditionally..and my boy..the sweetest earthiest biggest hearted boy i could have ever wished for. blessed.

now...with only one hour until its a new day... everyone sleeps...i might go play my new nintendo ds !!!!! from the kids :-) aren't they adorably funny... and murray... he financed their sneaky little plans.... they got me a new game too..sonic... tomorrow they will need to teach me how to use it...

we can also chat to each other on our ds's -while they lay in bed and i am in the lounge room we can send messages to each other. veda said maybe she won't get out of bed quite so many times. lol. we'll see.

i did some shopping today too... got some cute bargains... clothes for amelie.. and shoes...and clothes for veda... it was fun. and cheap. and my house smells verrry nice. i'm burning nag champa incense...hmmmmmmmmm..... aanndd i found my moon planting calendar ive been wanting since january1st. so happy.

my friends are so sweet also. big hearts. im lucky. i have a big family but today i don't know if they even remembered it was my birthday. i used to feel something about that. now i don't. maybe its because im 35. jeepers .

i ate way too much food today... and the birthday cake is in the fridge..uncut. breakfast it will be. we got home late from eating pizza for tea...too late for chocolate fudge cake decorated with lollies.. i did blow out my candles...all 35 of them that veda insisted i needed. and i made a wish.

i hope the kids are all having sweet mumma birthday dreams. or just sweet dreams.



goodnight. :-)

monday

the kids have been colouring in the house for awhile now... looks nice hey.

veda left me a sweet message next to the front door.

i have a little princess blossoming before my eyes.

and veda drew this picture the other day. nailed together drawings. wow.

putting pokemon to bed of course

i often forget they have children minds and don't think like i do. i feel badly that i often talk to them like they are adults and like they understand on the same level that i understand. i need to bring myself back into their world, because for one, it seems to be a truly amazing place to be.

thursday afternoon

kitchen art room

the kitchen table almost always has everything else on it but food. this afternoon it was a hive of activity, there's a sweet little friend turning three tomorrow. so it was a present making, letter writing, glitter and sparkle throwing fest. the animals are safely tucked away inside their little bag waiting to be discovered by their new friend tomorrow.

when it was tea time there were not many spaces left to eat. (not good i know) i asked murray to find somewhere.... he chose the hallway! so that's where we ate tea! -the funnier part being that i went along with his choice. actually first idea we were going to have a picnic outside, but the big bull ants joined amelie on the rug before we started so we passed on that idea. veda is telling her class about it for news tomorrow. oh - oh.