swirling

i ordered some photos over the internet the other day from big photo , i'm always slightly anxious that our computer is going to crash never to return and i'm going to lose the 1000's of photos that i have never got around to printing. (curse technology..or silly me who doesn't know how to use it.). so anyway i ordered them and felt a little relief that i had got at least some photos safely off the computer. today i received them. oh my goodness.. beautiful children, beautiful togetherness, i sat in my driveway, amelie asleep in the car with me, and i was overwhelmed . it's not taking much to do that to me these days.
so i'm swirling around in this chaotic but strangely peaceful time. so much is unknown with the farm and our future place of homeliness. i'm meeting my friends down the street and we are talking about the fact that there is starting to be green grass seen growing as we drive past endless dry paddocks. and i'm watching myself talking about green grass and i'm feeling these hard times that i'm standing amongst. i get goosebumps all the time. i don't know why but it's annoying.
so then what do i do? i go and buy some plants from the nursery. i know there is absolutely no logic in it, considering the lack of water, and the fact that the cows will most probably trash my garden tonight, knowing that i have just expended all my energy in it. but i havent learnt my lesson yet. so out i went and planted three wattle trees and three purple salvia bushes. nice :-)
i'm earthed now and feel much better.
amelie and i cooked little cinnamon biscuits cut into bunny shapes with her new bunny cutter. we decorated them and shared them with some friends at school pick up time. :-) more nice.
and then to totally exhaust myself i shovelled loads upon loads of straw/poo mixture from the paddock into the garden. i'm now crossing my fingers that the natives don't mind the bit of poo...because they don't normally.oops.
sometimes i step outside myself and look back at myself and am a little shocked to see who i appear to be on the outside.
hmm. so now i'm off to cook some pesto with my happy basil from my garden. sooo nice. spaghetti pesto yummmmmmmmm the kids won't eat it...if only i could show them what they are missing out on...if only they would get past the colour of the food in front of them (mostly only the little mr.s).,...and why do they have a problem with green in the first place???????>
.......i keep my hopes on one day it will rub off on them. and i won't give up.