its a fine line between letting the kids find the edge of their own boundaries with the world, and keeping them safe. its hard. in the shallow water of a river they wanted to go deeper and deeper and i stood in the shallow water on edge the whole time calling come back come back... i wanted to be quiet and just let them be free but i really didnt want to have to find them in that muddy water where i couldnt see them if they did go under. they dont know danger. and i know too much and put my fears in the way of their discovering. a tricky balance.
and so a new week begins..nervousness about a school sleepover, anxiety about kindergarten has resurfaced and all the static in the background that is being on a dairy farm in a drought. the colour of the land around us shocks me when i take notice. it is so very dry. straw yellow. brown.
when it rains it turns a darker shade. the kids notice the odd green paddocks on nearby farms.... and we joke about sneaking our cows down to that paddock for the night and bringing them home again before the morning light.