in the dark of the night

life keeps going

and as much as i wanted it to stop , a little while ago

so i could just sit under a tree in our garden

life kept going on around me

which was probably a blessing

because i was thinking and thinking and it was getting me nowhere


yes i have been thinking ....about coming back here to my blog

if i could have worked out how to save a copy of it i would have deleted it a little while ago

but i couldnt be bothered trying very hard to work out how to do it . so i didnt

and i guess thats good because im back here again

writing to you from my cosy bed in the dark middle of the night

our beautiful friend died a little while ago

two weeks? time is a blur

it was and is heart breaking
her family are so beautiful. which makes it even more heart breaking.
and now we have to keep living. with the blessing of her life in our hearts.
so thats what im trying to do.

i fall more in love with our kids every day..

and at the same time im so much more less tolerant of people and their put it not nicely

we have melinda and hana here

its like she has always been here

she should be here.

tomorrow is our Sindri's 8th birthday party

off to a giant playground we will go with 5 of his friends.

i should probably go to sleep so that i can run a little faster tomorrow to keep up with them.

and above is Amelies 5th birthday cake. i pulled it out of the oven and it was smiling at me

all it needed were two daisy eyes from the garden. perfect :-)

so goodnight x


13mimosa said...

I'm so sorry, that was so fast. I don't know why that makes it seem harsher, the idea of having less time to deal with it seems to infer it's harder. Honestly though, if you had longer, would it ever be easier. I've never lost anyone, I'm lucky, so I don't know what helps, but I hope you find a way to help her family and to remember her yourself in a way that is, eventually, comforting and not painful.

MANDA said...

i dont know if there is anyway that is easier. it sucks anyway you look at it. the worst part is that she was a mumma of three little boys. and she has a sweet hearted husband left alone. with their three little boys.
its simply something i cant understand.
i can treasure the blessing of another day with my kids and my family just a little more keeping my friend in my heart . each new day really is a blessing.. and it can be taken away at any second. impermanence.
so find the sunny side of life again...........