spitfire

my childrens lives have been consumed with the arrival of my daughters pet caterpillars...which we know as 'spitfires'. given to her by a friend at school. the kitchen has strands of grass everywhere after tonights feeding frenzy. we had one lost caterpillar, many tears, one found caterpillar, more happy tears, one dead caterpillar and dear little amelie heartbroken because she was so sorry to have killed her caterpillar. . and hence,.more tears. mumma mia. the emotion. tomorrow.. dead caterpillar burial.

compost

i think it may be raining. hang on i will just go and check. nope. i was imagining the sound. maybe it was because my sister put the thought of rain in my head tonight. my cat millie is sitting here next to me. shes been in our family for 12-ish years now. when i look at her its like i almost see a person in her face. shes someone.

i henna-ed my hand on sunday night with a tube i got in melbourne. its a bit too orange coloured and the lines, a bit too thick. and now i have to look at it for a week or so.. on monday i got my package of henna from india. so happy. if only i had waited one more day i could have had nice warm brown henna patterns. oh well. i can always do some feet mehndi. it was fun to see the kids faces at kinder when they got a glimpse of my hand. i think they liked it when i told them i drew on my hand with special paint.

this autumn weather is very nice. i dug around in the garden with amelie today. id really like to build. with some rocks. i need a pile of rocks. im thinking of andy goldsworthy. thats his name isnt it. without checking. and relying on my ageing memory . oh dear. im making a compost heap. well ive been feeding wild animals with our scraps for a few weeks now... but now ive covered the scraps with dirt and im hoping the worms will come to the feast and we may have some compost action happening soon. and looking at my moon calender tonight it seems now is the perfect time to be composting. fancy that.

i potato stamped some fabric the other day. with amelie. of course. she is my little shadow at the moment. she doesnt venture very far from my side. anyway.. it was fun. but not so pretty. but i can see the potential. i have some big pots of screenprinting ink that wont fit through a gocco screen. so i thought maybe i could stamp some fabric. im sure it would work somehow. maybe i need to water the ink down some. lotta jansdotter makes it look easy. i only had two potatoes left in my cupboard to dissect too. i will try the potato stamping again. oh and i was trying to stamp pink ink onto black fabric which probably wasnt helping the situation.

anyway. why i am telling you this i have no idea. i could call my blog the midnight ramble.

sunday

doll got her face today. and a dress. and then after much dancing and playing with her daughter doll, she went outside to climb trees and play on the tractor.

what else could one possibly do on this day.

run away?

even though the cows trashed my garden, there is still beauty to be found out there. for just a bit longer until jack frost comes and bites everything he finds delicious.

my new shoes. i will be happier when they soften and loosen up. they are a bit uptight at the moment. amelie is trying to help me break them in. the other day she spilt her baby-cino on them. oops.
i have to say.. if it weren't for my children and my love i may just put those shoes on and walk my way to the edge of the world. maybe in search of the sea. or at least to a place where there are nice people. or no people. people are too complicated. maybe just trees and flowers.
i made a doll today. a blank felt person. the kids took her before i could give her a face. or some clothes. she doesnt need either of those apparently. shes already become the mother to their dolls.

a week later

so much life happens in a week.

im here on my new computer. its empty. my old one is so full. i like the emptyness. and its pink.

but it has no mouse. which is strange for my fingers.

in the middle of the week our super boy Sindri had his 7th birthday.

a magical day it was. a magical boy he is.

now its friday night ..or saturday early morning.

the moon was full on his birthday.

we ate marshmallows cooked in our wood heater

we want to go see angus and julia stone playing in melbourne in june. we really like them. i doubt that we will be bothered though.

veda lost two teeth in the last two days. the tooth fairy will get a surprise tonight. two teeth to carry back to her fairy castle.

veda reads books faster than anybody i know.

i cant keep up with her.

amelie patted a pony walking down the street today with its owner. just going for a leisurely walk down the street.

the autumn weather is sunny and cold. frosty and foggy. and a little muddy.

while i was away in melbourne on the weekend the cows got into my garden and made a big mess of it.

why do they do that? im sure its telling me something im just not sure what. (apart from confirming the way i feel about them)

i have made nothing. apart from rum balls and birthday cake. i guess that is a big something. birthday cake is big.

i think about making skirts and i brought some stuffing to stuff some toys with. what those toys will look like i have no idea. amelie suggested i make a sun. i like that idea. they will be for mirabel if i get myself moving a little faster.

my favourite day is monday. amelie and i get to be in her kinder. we always leave energised. i didnt go to kindergarten when i was little..maybe this is my chance to do it with ammie. way more fun. apart from mondays i then look forward to fridays so it can then be saturdays and we can all live at our own pace.

hmm.. want me to keep babbling.

ok. k ..

im looking for somewhere for us to go for a holiday. overseas.

i feel a bit nervous about taking the kids into the bigger world. we live in a cocoon in many ways.

but how exciting it would/will be.

family. oh goodness. what a complicated thing family is.

it doesnt have to be does it.

should we or shouldnt we make our house bigger?

somehow i love the kids more and more, deeper and brighter every day. im so lucky.

ive been reading some nice books with amelie and it makes me want to write and illustrate a book. again. i wish i could make my mind up and just do something.

i like going to the coffee shop with amelie. we have a nice time hanging out together.

sindri likes reading books called captain underpants. of all things! i thought about making him a doll to put his underpants on. hes a superhero, captain underpants. taps into his boyish humour. which there is definitely such a thing.

rage is playing music on tv. i havent watched rage for years. memories........

and what else.

tomorrow theres a clearance sale on. i would like to go..but i am really running out of room for more stuff. really. although i always have room for old fabric and lace and trims, buttons, books,.....

the chances of me getting the kids out of the house on a saturday morning are not good. understandably.

so anyway. off to bed i should go. its nice to be back talking to myself. and to you if you are out there somewhere reading .

goodnight.

thursday again

delicate

balls

the internet is very very bad for me some days. it takes me on cyber journeys that i really enjoy and that threaten to swallow much of my day. too much of my day. but i find such interesting wonderful creations. and i read bits and pieces here and there that attach themselves to me in some way, because i have read them. i like it. and i dislike it. i get inspired to make. i get disheartened at what i do make. and i really shouldnt be sitting here anyway...i should be off living my real life.

anyway. so today i was visiting many blogs...and i ended up at tinyhappy the sweet place it is.. and decided i needed to make a ball.

and so i did.

i often question what i spend my day doing. really. making a ball?

our Coco cat is getting de-sexed at the Vet today... maybe i was making a ball for her. And I bowed to the pressure from three little people and got her a new bed to sit in front of the heater..one of her favourite places. As you can see...it may look cosy to you and me, but she would rather find her own bed thankyou very much. I suspected as much.

jeff , i really liked his blue circle.. . i found it through grijs . . one nice thing leads to another and im sitting here at 5.30pm and what are we going to eat for tea?

sunday

my kids know me so well. i woke to the sounds of my three chickens(kids) whispering in the hallway. from that moment onwards i was saturated in the love of our three kids endless love.

i ate delicious pancakes cooked by Veda , was smooched by my smooch loving Amelie and my gorgeous boy Sindri melted my heart with the love in his big brown eyes many times throughout the day.

i stood in the green-ness of my mums new garden with her.

i enjoyed the company of my brother, he has the family sense humour that others just dont completely get. i love that about family.

i fell asleep on the couch watching brothers and sisters. i wasnt happy about that this morning.

worm finding

stillness

last night the moon was especially beautiful. a thin slice. so bright. the sky was a beautfiul blue, just after the sun had set. i was outside collecting wood for the heater and i stood for a moment. i heard crickets, frogs, baby cows mooing, a distant truck speeding along the road, birds settling into the trees for the night.
i made a wish.
ive been given so many in the last week. my kids keep picking wishes from our garden and giving them to me.
i hope my wish was heard.
the kids were tired last night. veda ran 2 kilometres in a cross country school event. she did so well and was so proud of herself that she brought herself home a pinecone trophy she found on the course. my angel. my heart bursts when i see her playing and talking with her friends. her own little person. when i saw her exhausted little face mid way around the track she was running along. . . ...i hope she knows and feels just how endless our love for her is.
and today is saturday. my favourite day. i dont have to get out of bed. but even when i do get up i can just walk the slow i dont have to go anywhere do anything walk. my favourite. amelie woke me with her sitting on my bed folding paper. asking for instructions here and there. me responding with a noise. not very helpful i was.
its a beautiful sunny autumn day. i think i will go for a walk. the sun is calling me outside. the garden needs some water. where are you autumn rain?

hello

in the SHOP , three bags on my mannequin Amelie, a hello heart skirt

gold

sometimes i wll just glance out the window and i get a shock. i think the sun is shining ..but its our 2 gingkos sitting in pots outside our front windows. they are seriously glowing right now.

wish granted

im glad today was just my usual busy happy monday. because my sunday that just passed could very easily have been disastrous.
i'll give you an idea of what happened.
our two eldest kids... little 9 and 6 year old kids. decided to go adventuring on our farm . without telling me. they left littlest kid..4 year old.. under a tree , near a channel, by herself. she was happy because she got to have their tree house while they went to find greener pastures so to speak.
i was in the house for maybe 5 minutes and i heard that little angel voice in my head say this is not right...go find the kids.
so i found Amelie.. under her tree. freak out number one.
we walked down our one kilometre driveway trying to find the kids. no kids in sight. im imagining them near the front road gate..where there is a tree they really like... where a car could just stop and pick them up. they could have just disappeared. but as i got nearer to that tree i could see they werent there. freak out number two.
we head back towards home.. Amelie yelling out kids kids... . I , by chance, look out into a paddock. I see Vedas hat moving at ground level. She is in a dam. An empty one I assume because she is running around with Sindri. I try to yell/scream out to her but my voice doesnt reach that far. For a split second I think she waves at me and keeps playing her game. Growl.
So I walk/run home with Amelie to get the car.
We drive back to this paddock where the dam is , which by the way has about 30 big BULLS in it.
Yep. Freak out number.. what number am I up to.. Four?
I get to the dam. Which thankgod for the drought is empty. But muddy. The kids are laughing their heads off and Veda is up to her knees stuck in the mud. Seriously stuck. Im telling her to get out in my biggest growly voice. She's half laughing half panicking because she can't.
I managed to drag her out without breaking a leg or two. She wouldnt have gotten out without me pulling her out. Sindri had been trying to help her but couldnt. He would have sunk himself if he got any closer. Oh. My. God. I escort the kids back to their bikes which were at the front tree after all. Thank god I didnt get all the way there and find their bikes and no kids or I would have had a heart attack.
I drive home furious, relieved, and I dont know what else I was feeling.
The kids rode their bikes home, stripped the mud off themselves, had showers and stayed in their rooms.
There could have been so many horrible things go wrong with this day. The kids must have been protected by an angel. When their Dad got home he gave them the best talk. It really got through to them. He freaked out about the bull part because he knows what unpredictable mad creatures they can be. People die .
I was so mad but tormented because the kids are free spirits happily exploring their surroundings. Its hard to let them go and to protect them at the same time.
So they are not allowed out past our fence without asking.
and they know we love that they are best friends and have such fun together.
And that is why I am happy I got to live a normal happy Monday .
........................................................................................................................................................

on Sunday night I printed wish fabric. I accidentally printed the kitchen floor too. The kids were a bit horrified when they got up in the morning and saw the floor.
I have thought about gocco-ing the walls. They are our walls after all :-) And i saw a nice pink shed somewhere. Maybe I could paint one side of the shed pink? I'm having the urge to paint the house. Change it. Pull it apart and put it back together in a different way.

blue

folding paper makes me quiet and focused for just a tiny bit .

just what i needed

my boy surprised me today with these, gently presented to me from behind his back. . .just when i was considering fleeing to nigeria. he pulls out something that couldnt be sweeter. (i wouldnt really flee to nigeria. ) ( india maybe!! ) he picked them from one of our paddocks and brought them home for me. a bunch of fairy wishes he said.